Confessions of a reactive fuck.

”I’m reactive and it’s fucking me”. Such honesty with oneself, such as the pervious sentence, is what is required in order to change deep seeded issues that plague us and stop us reaching our full potential. You can choose to ignore such things, as many do. Then you let the years trickle by, one after another in the hope that somehow things will fix themselves. Until, eventually, you wake up and your whole fucking life’s drifted by. Or, you just choose to remain ignorant to the neurosis that impede you on your path to where you want to be vs where you are. Ultimately, it’s the hard truths that we admit to ourselves that redefine who we are and make us who we want to be.

The better option is to be brutally honest with yourself and address the issue. Remove as much emotion as you can and look at yourself as objectively as possible.

Reactive defined.

Being reactive in the sense that I am referring to here, is more so in relation to personal development, business and, I guess, the way one lives their life as a whole. It’s the act of (or lack there of)  letting the events in your day – whether this be at work, at home, in a relationships etcetera dictate your actions. This is done when you neglect to have the foresight to see problems looming on the horizon. Letting the last straw break the camels back and then being like ”fuck”. You react to things only when forced to and as a result you feel like a victim of circumstance. You swarm for excuses. You are left feeling less empowered. Less in control. You create less opportunities and find yourself clinging to hindsight too much. To conclude, it’s not a good way to lead your existence if you seek success in business and for the large part life as a whole. Its something you need to change.

Proactive.  

Flip the coin and you have proactivity. A trait shared by all highly effective people. The go-getters. The ones that make things happen. It’s a trait that we should aim to have. It’s claiming conscious control over your life and creating opportunities  – not waiting for life to force your hand. You write your own script.

Confessions.

Unfortunately, I must admit that I fall into the former camp. As hard a pill that it is to swallow, it’s true. I can think of too many times my hand was forced to react by an event that, if I had have acted earlier and saw it on the horizon, it could have been prevented. Or, as often has happened in my life, the clock keeps ticking until I am forced to act on something due to there simply being no time left – and often it is botched and half done as a result. Whereas, if I had of acted earlier and planned ahead the result would have been much better.

There’s also the fact that as humans, control plays a large role in how happy we are. When we are controlled and dictated by the events in our life (reactive); as opposed to dictating them (proactive), it leads to us feeling depressed and anxious. Being in the drivers seat in regards to life, is a key ingredient in the recipe of happiness and success.

It is what it is – the first step to recovery.

Admitting such things, as mentioned before, is often hard. First the ego wont have it and has to be put away. The ego will only have you seen by yourself in nothing but a positive light. Seeing things as they are is the first step to recovering from any gaping flaws you have within yourself. It is what it is and that will always be the case, no matter how many ways you justify it to yourself, how many lies you tell yourself, how much delusion you thrust upon an issue, in reality it still stands there. Unchanged. Unmoved.

Once seen for what it is, the issue can be looked at. Emotion can be removed and you can start to stare it in the face. Logic and rationality are what’s required to address such problems.

The beauty is as humans we are creatures of habit. This can often be to our detriment, but it also means that they can be changed – and that we have the power to change them, rewire them.

I conclude.

The irony is that the very act of changing a habit in itself is a proactive one. It’s taking charge and putting yourself back in the drivers seat and not being content with things the way they are and accepting it. As cliche and self development-y (no, that’s not really a word) as it sounds; we all have the power to change our deepest and most ingrained habits that impede us from acting out what is truly in our nature. It just takes a bit of self reflection, honesty and then some action. If there is something you feel is truly setting you back from what you want and can achieve, then you really need to take a look at yourself. For, in the grand scheme of things, it’s important that you do so. Whole existences can trickle by, unrealised potential can be, well, unrealised.

I myself am on a quest to change. I want proactive to be one a trait that people readily attribute to me when they describe me. I have too many things I wish to do, too many ideas to action for it not to be. My heads swarming. So now that things have been seen for what they are, let me grab the reigns.