Brent Redpath
At times in our lives we think we have it all figured out. We have our daily routines. All seems right in our little slice of happiness and familiarity that we have carved out for ourselves. Our careers are all planned out and the direction that our lives will go seems clear on the path ahead. All we have to do is walk it, one foot in front of the other. We feel like we know who we are. What we believe. Where we will go and who we will go there with. And in this we find comfort and we are content. We feel safe and certain.
This all sounds great, but we have no idea what lays before us on the road ahead. What collisions and obstacles time has in-store for us as we go about our lives. Even though our path may seem clear before us, an obstacle may be on the road ahead. Something that changes everything and turns our reality on it’s head. It causes us to reassess everything we thought we knew about ourselves, where we would go in life and who we would be. Whilst at the time, the event may seem like the worst thing that has happened to us – taking us from the comfort and familiarity of our mapped path, and into uncharted territory – often it’s quite the contrary. Often it’s the best thing for us. We just have to let it be sp.
In life, when an obstacle stands in our way, the way around the obstacle can be the path we were always meant to take. The obstacle causes us to stop for a second and look back at the path we have been walking down in life – the one that seemed so right before. We realise that it wasn’t so right after-all. Maybe it wasn’t who we are. When life causes us to take a harsh detour we can often realise certain truths about ourselves that weren’t visible before. We turn our gaze inward, deep into our souls. And whilst we are reluctant to admit that we have wasted so much time walking down a path that wasn’t the right one for us, we know deep down we have. This wasn’t who we were supposed to be. No longer blinded by the safety of the warn path – we step off the beaten track, and reveal ourselves to ourselves just a little more. Although the way around the obstacle seems uncertain and scary, we must see the obstacle as the way.
Revelations such as the above can be hard to come to terms with. Especially when we have invested so much living into being a certain way – going down a certain path. We find that the people we thought were someone, aren’t that someone. We were wrong about them and we’ve been lying to ourselves about who they are and who we are. This can be fucking devastating. We can feel stupid and betrayed. Betrayed by the fact that things weren’t the way they seemed and that our minds deceived us. It can be akin to dedicating your life to a religion. Being a devout believer and follower of a certain religion or cult, and waking up one day – triggered by a certain life obstacle – and realising you’ve been wrong all along. Then becoming an atheist, from there on in, dedicating your life to atheism.
When such obstacles in life present themselves and force us to a crossroad, we can’t be afraid to admit we were wrong. We can’t be afraid to let the person we were die and we must be willing to tread a new path. It’s how we learn and grow. It’s how we respond to these obstacles and how we embrace the new direction that it forces us in, that determines how fulfilled our existence can be. This can involve letting people in your life die (figuratively) who weren’t who you thought they were and letting your old self die. Leaving them behind and letting them burn as you walk on.
In his song ”It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue”, Bob Dylan says the following:
”Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you
Forget the dead you’ve left, they will not follow you
The vagabond who’s rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore
Strike another match, go start anew”
Bob Dylan’s talking about the same things I am mentioning above, just in a much more poetic way. You must leave the stepping stones behind that led you to where you are – and you must not be afraid of doing so. Whilst the stepping stones might carry with them time invested and nostalgia, it’s time for something else. Something else calls for you. And in such times of great change there may be some casualties along the way. You may have to leave people behind that you met along those stepping stones that led you to where you are. They may not be able to follow you down your new path in life and that’s okay. As sad as it may seem, you have to leave them behind. That’s just life.
Eras come to an end, chapters close. People you thought were sheep end up being wolves dressed as sheep. You can dedicate years to a belief, a company, a cause, a way of life only to wake up one day and have it all come crashing down on you. To realise you’ve been wrong all along. Whether this is triggered by an obstacle life has planted in your path, or just an epiphany triggered by one extra straw on the camels back, causing it to break – you have to accept it. You can’t be caught up in the past and with the thought of continuing being who you were. There comes a certain point when you just can’t be someone ever again and trying to do so just leads to some fucked up version of groundhog day. Like a junkie trying to recreate that first time they shot heroin and that feeling they got, you’ll spend a life chasing a high that will never come again. You’ll always fall short if you do it that way.
There will be various times in life when we find ourselves at such junctions. If you are at a crossroad in life that an obstacle has taken you to, look back down the path at where you have came from. The path that brought you to where you stand. See who you were, see the people you thought were someone else. Turn your back on it all, light a match, throw it over your shoulder and walk the new path. Feel it all burn behind you and go start anew.
Bad company ruins good character, or more appropriately – bad companies ruin good characters.
A new chapter is opening for you — almost there.